Vicevi

-Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
-Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
-Set the mood with lighting (turn them ALL OFF!)
-Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
-Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
-Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
-Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
-Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
-If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Devojčica u Černobilu kaže mami:
-"Mama, mama, raste mi i treća dojka!"
A mama će:
-"Ma boli me ku*ac!"

Došao Mujo kod Fate i kaže joj:
- "Fato, ajmo ja i ti malo oralnog seksa."
Pita Fata:
-"A što ti je to?"
Mujo:
-"Ti ljubiš tamo gdje ja vrsim malu nuždu..."
Fata:
"Ma što bolan, zar po pločicama na terasi?"

Pita plavuša drugu plavušu:
- Jesi li bila na IQ testu?
A druga joj odgovara:
- Jesam, i hvala Bogu - negativan je!

Ulazi Lala u kucu i viče sa 'avlinski' vrata:
-"Soso, dobio sam na lotou - pakuj kofere!"
Na to ce Sosa:
-"Super! Da li da se pakujem za more ili za planine?"
A Lala će:
-"Ta di gođ 'oćeš - samo se gubi odavde!"